Volunteering

If you run at events, one might have noticed all the marshals and event organisers who are standing at various strategic points encouraging and directing runners in th right direction (there is the odd occasion where marshals have gone missing - who knows where!!!!). 

This morning, instead of running at Parkrun I decided to volunteer after responding to a plea for volunteers. Now, I do still have my #fortyb4forty challenge in mind and this puts me behind another week. However, ther is such a fab feeling of saying well done to runners when they come in, and giving instead of always receiving.

Parkrun is completely dependent on volunteers to go ahead, and it's an hour of my time to give to runners who have also given up their time and volunteered in the past. It's also great to scan in friends barcodes and congratulate them. 

So maybe next week I'll find a parkrun.

Goal setting

Just a short musing.

Fairly recently I mentioned to a running club friend that by the end of the year I wanted to be able to run 4 miles continuously. I managed it last weekend, and I'd like to know whether by the end of year I can run it again.

Event 6/40 #fortyb4forty

So, after my little blurt out this morning, I completely exceeded all my expectations.

1. I ran the entire distance of 5 miles

2. My average pace came in less than 12 min/mile

3. I completed it less than an hour.

I'm really chuffed. Am waiting for the official time, but still very happy.

It was very windy. At different points on the course I was hit by the wind in different directions. It made my run easier when it buffeted me along along the path. But it didn't rain. Nor was it particularly cold I thought. 

I know that I don't need to get myself so wound up pre-race as much as I do. I think today I felt that I just didn't have the miles in my legs to run 5 miles in one go. Clearly having company on the run made a huge difference as well, and I am very grateful for my team members.

I will acknowledge that the feelings I get are very real but I was able to beat them today.

I am pleased I did go. 

Please don't judge

Sometimes I wonder why I carry on running. I find the motivation to do it difficult, and swimming is more my natural sport. 

As a result of struggling with mental health difficulties this year (and still struggling) running has been much harder this year than it was last year. As a result of not making it to training because of low feelings,  I don't have the miles in my legs as I did this time last year, my running times and distances are not as good as this time last year. This makes me cross with myself, then I start thinking that I can't hen do something, which in turn switches off the motivation, and cycle goes round and round and round.

As I write this I am making my usual pre-run breakfast of porridge with juice, and then it'll be a cuppa. Today it's a 5 mile race, which is also our club championship race as well. Not that I will win a prize. I entered because I wanted to do one thing a month for the running club. This contributes to my #fortyb4forty challenge as well. Plus, I do want to prove to myself that I am capable of doing something.

I definitely don't have 5 running miles in my legs, but 5 walk/run miles, and I can stride out pretty quickly. But I have such a heavy feeling that I don't want to race today. I'm going to go, as I am picking someone up on the way. All the feelings of being last, a failure, what if I start crying because I get anxious on the way round,what if I struggle because it's really windy. These feelings are so real for me at the moment.

I wish my blog could always be an uplifting and inspirational blog that running is fantastic and I love it. I don't love it. I do like it, a lot of the time, but today this is what I feel at times. I could just ignore what's happening inside me, but I can't. These feelings really bully me, and take over. 

So, I will post later post-race.

Training in the dark

I really struggle with training during dark evenings. By rights, when it gets dark, that's me preparing to snuggle down, and to try and break that is incredibly hard. I wonder what is the right combination of clothing to wear depending on what the temperature is. What if I get too hot, too cold. What would I do with excess clothing I don't need to wear. (Even now my children are snuggled in their duvets watching TV.)

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!!!

Freezing!!!!! This was the temperature this morning at 8.30am and I went (against my natural instincts to stay in the warm) to join a running group going out.

I struggled. Running when it's cold is actually quite hard, and it takes a very long time to warm up, despite wearing double layers on top. My walking distance was longer than it had been on Thursday as a result but I'm not worrying about it. I'm just celebrating that I went out!!!! But it was really pleasant being out.

So that's another  4.5 training miles in the bag. 

Entering races

Three running events entered recently, all club participation ones as well, including our club championships race, but I'm certainly not going with the expectation of winning anything. These are all in aid of my challenge, to participate as a running club member, and to include training for my half marathon event next April.

Tomorrow morning I'm going on a 6m/10k training run. How much running will actually happen I'm not sure but I plan to get around it all, and get miles in my legs.

I get nervous when entering races where club participation is part of the race. I put too much pressure on myself to feel that I have to be up with the stronger runners. I know that I don't have to be.

And I have 63 weeks left to do 35 events.