This girl is back!!

today was my first race since I pulled out of Ryde 10 miles in January. Training hadn't been as consistent as I would have liked, but my cycling and swimming had increased in this time so I think they were my saving grace today.

So I'm waiting at 7am at Hoglands Park (race starts at 8.30). I'd been paranoid that if my husband had brought me in later I would be completely panicking that I wouldn't reach the start of the race. I felt completely sick with anxiety, and tiredness (I'd woken up at 5am).

So, anyway, once the race started I follwed the pack on a route which started at Hoglands Park, via the guildhall, Ocean Village, over and back across the Itchen Bridge, past St. Mary's Stadium, and back into town to finish back at the Guildhall. 10km.

I'd been dreading the Itchen Bridge, having not practiced it at all. Being sensible I walked and ran it. It was such a lovely atmosphere seeing and hearing people encourage each other as they passed each other.

The last 2 miles I really struggled with, but I still came in with a respectable time of 1:11:57. By the time I reached Guildhall I was completely finished. But it was worth getting through.

The running club were fabulous in being mile markers, and it was a big relief to see the. At the bottom of Itchen Bridge. That really pushed me to keep going. I even ran without my usual running watch, which was really odd, but a good thing to do.

So, what's next? After the May Day Triahlon I have nothing else booked in. But, in true running club fashion, it's Sunday evening and therefore races to be entered!!!

(When I can add pictures I will!!))

Suffering a disappointment

Today was the Eastleigh 10k run. A nice local run which was reasonably flat, from what I've been led to believe. But due to being w good girl and following my running rehab programme, it meant that I was unable to take part. Very disappointed, although in some ways, as a friend said to me, feeling like this means I do have some passion for keeping going. However, one of the stewards took pity on me and let me have a tshirt, which the finishers were getting. 

My children did take part in the fun run and did themselves, and me, very proud. Both coming in having run it all and looking really strong. They pipped me to the post for the first medal this year, but I'm so proud that they gave it a really good go.

So, yesterday I was on a 20 minute run. And although the general throat burning sensation occurred when I always run, I kept going and felt reasonably comfortable. I am really happy that my fitness has been maintained and keeping going is a major achievement. 

5 weeks to Southampton 10k. Still disappointed that I'm not doing the half but this will be a test of perseverance to run over (and back across) the Itchen Bridge. 

Trying to stay positive and still building the confidence to get out on the bike. Although the weather at the moment is perfect. 

Starting rehab

So today, I receive my 6 weeks back to running plan. And it looks okay. Having done a couple of runs this last week,  my fitness hasn't completely given up the ghost so definitely manageable.

Having seen the 'This Girl Can' ads on TV, I am definitely much more inspired, and following today's pain and niggle free run (with the help of musical accompaniment), I am definitely feeling much more in the 'zone' and looking forward to recovering.

Let me say this now: I do not love running. I never have done, despite somehowbeing chosen to run as part of a select group at school during the games lessons during the last two years of school. Every time I drive by  Forches Cross fields near Newton Abbot, that's all I remember about it.

But  I love the feeling of accomplishment that I get when I finish a run. And I am so inspired by seeing friends really move forward in their own achievements. They make it look so easy. I know it's not. But I wonder do I have a problem with my own mentality and PMA (positive mental attitude). How do I overcome the voices that tell me I'm too tired, running in the dark isn't safe, I won't have enough time, I've got too much to do, I've not long eaten a big meal..........the list goes on.

I am very disappointed that I am only doing the 10k, and not the half marathon distance in Southampton next month. I signed up last June-ish. Putting aside the sensible decision making considering the last couple of months of not running, seeing so many of the running club taking part kind of makes me feel I'm letting someone down, not really sure who really. But I definelitely feel guilty. And I shouldnt. I have to put me first.

Poetic justice

I was inspired to write a poem:

I look in the mirror

And what do I see,

A girl who can run

And just wants to be

A girl who is amazing,

Confident and true.

But plagued by her feelings

Of  'what's wrong with you?'.

I just want to run,

To swim and to ride.

But my mind says I can't,

And wants me to hide.

I step out with fear,

Afraid of what might come.

But instead I am surprised

When I choose to succumb

To the sports I enjoy,

The feelings I get.

When I finish a race

Like a fast jumbo jet!

I struggle a lot,

My mind makes me fear.

But I never forget

The support I have all year.

It's a bit naff but it helped me!!!!

Long Overdue update

Okay, so here we are nearly at the end of February and things haven't been going so well. My optimism for doing the ABP southampton half marathon was shattered three weeks ago when I had to pull out of the Ryde 10 mile race due to knee pain. I was able to get a next day appointment with a sports massage therapist I had previously been to.

So three weeks later with no running,  I am due to see him again soon with the hope of starting a running rehab programme. I wonder what response I'd get if I was to put on a facebook status that I was starting rehab........

Back to the half marathon. I was able to defer my place for 2016 so that I can build up distance again properly, and try and prevent a repeat of the injury. Instead I have been able to enter the 10km race instead as building up to that distance is achievable, so I can still take part on the day as a club member. I still have to cross Itchen Bridge over and back so I haven't got out of that!!!!

But how have things been, having taken time out to not run and allow healing to take place? Well, it was a very self pitying journey really. Lots of eating and feeling sorry for myself and not inclined to want to exercise at all which included cycling or swimming (which I could do), so in the meantime my fitness has taken a bit of a dive.

One thing I have had to battle for a very long time is going to new things by myself. Or even going to things that are familiar to me but I have no motivation to go. And often I have been beaten by the feeling that 'I just can't do it', or 'what do I do if something happens?'. The thought of doing something I know I can do has been completely overridden by low confidence. So last week I plucked up the courage to go to a lanes session at a local pool, and absolutely loved it!!! Now I'm chomping at the bit to want to go again, which is tomorrow morning, although I am not a morning person!!!

Now to tackle getting the bike out. Again, I want to, and I know I can, but worried about 'what if I get too out of breath and can't get home?' Or the bike has a puncture, or the chain falls off. Or the idiots on the road that have no respect for cyclists freak me out (BTW I am receiving treatment for depression so these feelings aren't unusual or requiring a need to seek professional help). Thankfully I have some friends who are amazing with offering support, and the occasional kick up the bum, as well as an amazing running club.

Celebration!!!!!

Well, the big day arrived - the Great South Run!!!! The challenge I set myself back in April when I could barely run round the corner. After beating lots of nerves and finding some wonderful advice I ran, yes ran, all 10 miles. Considering two weeks ago I was struggling to get to 5 miles without walking I reckon this is a fantastic achievement.

So, the weather was pretty perfect for running for me. I didn't get cold at all, except whilst waiting at the start. The wind was a lovely breeze that was refreshing without trying to blow me over. And the atmosphere was amazing. Loads of music on the way around was fabulous to run to, and loads of children were offering their hands to high5 the runners.

I pretty much ran alone, which was fine.  I had my iPod loaded with music that really connected me with Dad, and although the music was quieter than I would have liked, it meant I was able to not totally zone out, and subsequently soak up the atmosphere all the way around.

The actual run was amazing. I ran really comfortably and didn't get out of breath. I was prepared to walk but as I was doing so well, I decided to keep going. To get around I used a strategy of knowing where the drink stations were and doing mini distances. So it was 3.75 miles to the first one, then another 2miles later, and the last at 7 miles. Then it was the distance of one parkrun to get to the end. And that focus really kept me going the whole way around.

At the end I got through the finish line in 1 hour, 58 minutes and 2 seconds. A sub-2 hour run. Even better. After collecting my goody bag,and heading back to where the rest of the running club was, I was greeted by the running club, and as soon as they hugged me, I burst into tears: missing dad and the fact I had actually run the entire course.

It truly was a fab day. I ran 10 miles, but that means I kept running for two hours. How awesome is that??!!

So, I have completed the final task of my original challenge - and what a way to finish it!!! - and raised £285 for Cancer research in memory of my dad. What now?

I have signed up for the southampton half marathon next April and training will commence shortly.

RR10

I entered my first RR10  at the beginning of August as a club member. The R10 series is a number of running events where clubs meet and basically run as individuals, but also gaining points for their club. The event I went to was nice and local and ran the lot except a totally atrocious hill which I can to struggle up twice!!!!! The distance was 4.4 miles and I completed it in 51 mins. I cried at the end I was emotional and seeing the club in a whole group cheering me on as I came through the finishing line was amazing. I really belong to an awesome club.

Anyhow, more photos:

On a completely different note, whilst on holiday I have done 3 runs so far, the furthest being 3 miles so far. Earlier  it was raining very hard but it appears to be clearing up and so I might make it out for another run this week, perhaps in the parkrun spirit, and racing at what would be 9am British time.

It's now less than 10 weeks to great south run. Starting to panic now.......