Suffering a disappointment

Today was the Eastleigh 10k run. A nice local run which was reasonably flat, from what I've been led to believe. But due to being w good girl and following my running rehab programme, it meant that I was unable to take part. Very disappointed, although in some ways, as a friend said to me, feeling like this means I do have some passion for keeping going. However, one of the stewards took pity on me and let me have a tshirt, which the finishers were getting. 

My children did take part in the fun run and did themselves, and me, very proud. Both coming in having run it all and looking really strong. They pipped me to the post for the first medal this year, but I'm so proud that they gave it a really good go.

So, yesterday I was on a 20 minute run. And although the general throat burning sensation occurred when I always run, I kept going and felt reasonably comfortable. I am really happy that my fitness has been maintained and keeping going is a major achievement. 

5 weeks to Southampton 10k. Still disappointed that I'm not doing the half but this will be a test of perseverance to run over (and back across) the Itchen Bridge. 

Trying to stay positive and still building the confidence to get out on the bike. Although the weather at the moment is perfect. 

Starting rehab

So today, I receive my 6 weeks back to running plan. And it looks okay. Having done a couple of runs this last week,  my fitness hasn't completely given up the ghost so definitely manageable.

Having seen the 'This Girl Can' ads on TV, I am definitely much more inspired, and following today's pain and niggle free run (with the help of musical accompaniment), I am definitely feeling much more in the 'zone' and looking forward to recovering.

Let me say this now: I do not love running. I never have done, despite somehowbeing chosen to run as part of a select group at school during the games lessons during the last two years of school. Every time I drive by  Forches Cross fields near Newton Abbot, that's all I remember about it.

But  I love the feeling of accomplishment that I get when I finish a run. And I am so inspired by seeing friends really move forward in their own achievements. They make it look so easy. I know it's not. But I wonder do I have a problem with my own mentality and PMA (positive mental attitude). How do I overcome the voices that tell me I'm too tired, running in the dark isn't safe, I won't have enough time, I've got too much to do, I've not long eaten a big meal..........the list goes on.

I am very disappointed that I am only doing the 10k, and not the half marathon distance in Southampton next month. I signed up last June-ish. Putting aside the sensible decision making considering the last couple of months of not running, seeing so many of the running club taking part kind of makes me feel I'm letting someone down, not really sure who really. But I definelitely feel guilty. And I shouldnt. I have to put me first.