And.........

I doubt you're dying to know whether or not I did parkrun or not, but I did, I hauled myself out of bed, having the previous night, been persuaded to do it by a friend who was also not going to go. She also turned up.

What can I say? It was lovely to see some faces I hadn't seen for a long time, having missed out a lot on running club nights and generally not been to a parkrun for a while. I worked out the last time I went to my regular parkrun was in December last year. The last parkrun I did was two days later at a different location.

Today the course was no different than before - 5km. But it was the longest distance I had run since the beginning of May with very little training in between. Hence my time of 37:47 was the slowest time I've ever done at parkrun.

I ran naked. Now before you start wondering whether I was then arrested for indecent exposure, what I mean is that I ran not wearing a sports watch. So I couldn't keep track of my time/distance and therefore I wouldn't put pressure on myself, or start berating myself for how rubbish I was doing whilst running around.

I found the course hard. I ran/walked. Although I'm not entirely sure I have ever ran that particular course all the way before, so perhaps I can give myself a break.

I do need to give myself a break. I have this idea that I have to run all the way for it to be a good run. The fact I went and got around is more than I have done for a long time. I am harsh on myself and as a result, probably like a lot of runners, I don't always appreciate the fact that when I run, I am going faster than those sat in the sofa. But, my training regime is poor. I don't actually have a regime, but I haven't done a lot recently of running so I can't elicit sympathy when things don't go well.

So, next week my plan is to go back to parkrun again.

Bricking it

Over  a year ago I ran my first park run. I was nervous and had no idea what to expect. I had nothing to worry about. I last did a parkrun at the end of December. Having not run properly since the May Day tri, the thought of doing a parkrun again makes me nervous all over again. I need to MTFU (in the words of a very good friend who' doesn't stand for self-pitying. And if you don't know what it means - Google it).

I have nothing to be worried about. Its not a competition. But inside me I have a feeling of letting myself down. But I have have myself to blame for not getting out and going for a run. Depression stinks, and it can make life hard. But my attitude is what is going to get me going and I need to focus.

So hopefully, tomorrow, I might have another parkrun result.

I would like to announce......

.......that since I wrote the last blog post I have got back out and running.

Sometimes, writing things down is a therapeutic process and helps put things into perspective. So this includes that actually I don't hate running. I find it okay. I have been back to running club a couple of times and helped with the beginners groups. I really enjoyed that.

I have also since signed up for Great South Run again, and the Southampton Half Marathon.

I am undecided on which charity to support this year. There are so many to choose from. I am inclined to support a charity that supports families and sufferers with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. My nan had been diagnosed with this a couple of years before she died. It's a devastating illness, like many degenerative diseases.

I feel like I am learning to run all over again at the moment. But with perseverance I'll be able to manage the great south run like last year. I do still have some fitness within me.