Event 32 of #fortyb4forty

Hard one today. The New Forest Stinger 5 mile distance. There as also a 10 mile distance but opted to not go for that.

Now, when I woke up this morning I wasn't booked onto a race. I had intended to enter this one but needed to wait until pay day, and then I plain forgot. Saw that a couple of friends were doing this race and wished them luck, including the comments that I had forgotten to enter. I think one of the ladies who entered into a conversation was on the team organising the race. So by 8am I had nearly convinced Muself I was going to do this, but for one thing: one of my worst fears about races. 

Now, at most events, there is almost always more than ample parking. But, I have this almost irrational fear that If I go alone I'll get lost, there won't be enough parking and I'll be late. This morning, as I then decided I was then entering on the day, I also had a major anxiety panic about turning up and finding out all the enter-on-the-day places had been taken. To the point I was nearly in tears about it, and nearly just didn't go.

In jumps my wonderful husband who drives me to the race, with the children. He takes them off for a walk whilst I am running. 

The terrain of the race was pretty much mud and puddles. Difficult to run in. Legs feeling like lead made it all the much harder. Going around, I struggled with anxious feelings about completing it, the fact that my legs just hurt, and they nearly get the better of me on more than one occasion on the route. I haven't had these feelings for so long. Probably last time was when I did the Ox half, so that was May, I think. I struggling with breathing too. Carrying an inhaler has made such a difference to my running lately but I had to work hard mentally to not go into panic mode completely because I struggled to breath. Anyhow, it's fair to say the latter half I probably spent more time walking, but I did run down the hills. I was going to finish this damn race becaus there's no way I wasn't going to finish. The last kilometre was a long slow hill. Whilst pushing myself up I saw an adult deer, and three babies cross the path in front of me. It was an incredible sight. I pushed to the end. It was hard.

I had to laugh at my husband when I found him at the end. He'd wandered back to the car after walking with the children to drop something back because he thought I'd be a lot longer. Ha!!! Really happy with about 1 hour 12 minutes. Got a rather nice little cool bag as my finishing memento.