Tighter, tighter!!!

One thing that has bugged me recently whilst running, is the feeling of my chest and throat tightening, particularly in the final stages of a run. And the feeling of wanting to cry, makes it feel much worse. And makes the end feel a lot harder than it needs to be, and I can't put in that sprint finish that I used to be able to do. 

A really helpful reply to a status for help on Facebook felt that perhaps I was taking things a little too seriously. And yes, without realising it, maybe I am. I do just need to enjoy running, and use it as a tool to escape the mundanity of life and it's routines, and to use that time for me.

As a teenager I was a swimmer, and completed in galas with the club I was a member of. So, my training, rightly enough, focussed on improving in order to win the races I took part in - which never happened!! And I always see sport as a competitive thing, and it's benefits of getting fit, rather than doing something as a means of having time out for myself. And therefore I don't enjoy it as much as I probably could as I'm stuck in this thought of training to improve to do really well and prove myself - to who exactly?  Who am I trying to impress?? It's only myself really that I need to do this for. The training nights at running club are there for my benefit to improve my ability to run - not an essential thing that I have to take part in a race to prove myself to others. 

I do like taking part in events, but I then get stuck in the thought that wearing by my club shirt I am representing the club, and clearly I must be representing the club, and finishing nearly last is clearly not giving the club a good name. Okay, I need to get that out of my head. I know that whatever position I come in, the club has been represented, and, actually, does anyone really give a jot what position I come in? No, they don't!! I'm just still stuck in this competitive sport thing I have in my head. Being competitive is good, but for me, not at the moment.

I'm slowly starting to believe in my ability to do be able to run. I'm touched by the lovely comments I get that I'm doing really well, and that people are actually proud of me when I finish events. Why can't I be really proud of myself? I'm usually just chuffed that I've made it round a course!!

Event 3/40 #fortyb4forty

So, like last week, I decided to do a race today at the very last minute. It came up because someone was poorly and couldn't run, and someone else suggested if I wanted to have a go. Why not. It's only 8 miles. Good practice for GSR in three weeks, where I would be running along Southsea promenade anyway. I could do this, couldn't I?

Generally I had a ball today. Wearing my headphones made a huge difference in focussing my mind away from nasty derogatory thoughts, (not that I had many) by focussing on singing (not loudly) familiar words of songs. I didn't run it all. I'm okay with that. I didn't expect to, as it's a huge leap in mileage from recent runs.  But I still came in with a very nice time of 1:38:45.

I belong to an epic running club. Along the way back to the RNLI station, at mile 7, Keith came and joined me (having already finished) and ran with me back to the finish line, where more hedgies were waiting to cheer me in.

I really did enjoy today. I'm looking forward to GSR in three weeks time.

(The medal is pretty cool too)

Last. Minute

There's nothing like deciding to do a race at the last minute - again!!!!! Pieces of Eight in Southse? 8 flat miles. Good prep for Great South Run which is 3 weeks tomorrow!!!!

Event 2/40 #fortyb4forty

So, I got to Netley Abbey Parkrun this morning and, with the encouragement of the very lovely Vanessa, I ran all the 5k, with a really respectable time of 35.24. It was the course of 5.5 laps around the cricket pitch. Bizarrely, I can cope with that really well mentally, than the course that is 3 laps. Who knows why!!!!

Event 1/40 of #fortyb4forty

Wnat a beautiful day it was today. The sun was out, the temperature was really pleasant and what a fabulous atmosphere generally.

So today was Perform 5, which was a 5 mile road race organised by the Ageas Bowl, and marshalled by Hedge End Running Club.

If you saw my blog post yesterday I mentioned that I decided to enter at the last minute. Yes, I was nervous, but I found a group of club members to run with, and that made it so much easier to keep moving round the course. Roberta stay with me the whole way, and for that I am eternally grateful. I think overall I probably ran accumulativly 4-4.5 miles of the route. I ran the first nearly 3.5 miles.

So, what have I learnt from today:

• Running with a head of mental mess is not recommended. It really interfered with my focus and having Roberta to be that physical voice telling me to keep going really did so much to change some of that
• I Definitely need to ignore the negative voices when I need to go and do some training.
• I am capable of anything.
• I am amazing
• I belong to an amazing running club
• I have amazing friends and family who believe in me
• My dad and my grandparents would be so proud of me watching from heaven.

I had my first episode of being sick once finishing a race. Not pleasant but I did feel better after!!!

It's a 4 weeks until GSR. I'm not going to panic or worry about it. I will just enjoy, get around and do the best I can, knowing I am raising money for a fantastic charity.

#fortyb4forty número uno!!!

there's nothing like leaving things to the last minute and that is entering a race that is happening tomorrow. Yep, that's what I've done and it's my first event for my #fortyb4forty challenge.

#fortyb4forty

I recently saw a video on Twitter recently, on which a triathlete mentioned that he was going to try and do 30 events before he was 30.

This got me thinking. What an awesome challenge. Except I'm the wrong end of the 30's to consider it. Therefore, why don't I do 40 events before I am 40? This gives me about 73 weeks/17 months to do this.

The practicalities - namely cost and time. I'm not sure I could find 40 fairly local organised events, let alone afford to pay for them all. But, there are events coming up that, whilst some are not timed and are free, contribute to HERC's place on league tables. So I intend to take part in the Southern Cross Country League races this autumn/winter. Then there are parkruns which are timed events. Again they are free. Considering I have done only 16 since I started them in May last year, I could also work towards getting my 50th parkrun milestone in the bargain. I do have the great south run and Southampton half marathon booked, so this is looking doable. I might do a triathlon or  aquathlon too.

So, I have a challenge now. Let's go!!!

Here is my fundraising page raising money and awareness for Progressive Supranuclear Palsy:

https://www.justgiving.com/Helen-Hobbs2

This is the charity website for the Progressive Supranuclear Palsy Association:

http://www.pspassociation.org.uk/