It's another year!!

It's been ages!! I need to do better. But this year will be 5 years since I started running and started this blog. 

However, to quickly recap, I've kept running this year. I did the Great South Run in 2018 with a very respectable time of just over 2 hours with my running buddy pushing me along. My knee has basically got a lot better, despite a glitch recently,  and I've been behaving and listening to my body.

I have continued to run regularly with Clare and I really feel that, whilst I still don't love running, I now actually like it, and using it as a tool when I am stressed, or low (or even having a good day) to clear my head, be focussed and my brain feels less cluttered.

 I'm doing a monthly challenge now where I run a set number of km each month. Last month it was 25km, this month is 25km. Who knows I might increase it to 50 over time....... but let's not get too carried away!!! 

I'm looking forward to the spring coming, and dryer weather, when we can vary our running routes a little more. It's been really cold, and I even used a treadmill to do one of my runs. I haven't run on a treadmill for many many years!!! 

I had an amazing trip to the National Running show, listening to incredible athletes such as Paula Radcliffe, Jo Pavey, Roger Black, Steve Edwards, Ben Pope. I meet the Run Mummy Run founder, Leanne Davies, and was everso slightly startstruck that she knew my name - but to be fair tagging her in My instagram posts might have given her a clue. But even so!!!! I bought some new kit, both clothing and gadgets which I love and have put into use. I might blog on those on. On another note, for amazing gluten free food, visit the Little Owl, next to the Holiday Inn, at the NEC.

Let's not leave 6 months to speak again!!!

And I've made the decision to join a running club again. It was a hard decision to move away from the club I'd previously been at, but this feels the right place to be at a new club at this time. I know some people might not like this, but at the risk of sounding selfish, this is about finding somewhere where I am comfortable. 

Toodles!! 

When injury strikes

So, just to meander slightly, it's 5.30am and I'm sat outside in the garden writing this as I can't get back to sleep. Picture a beautiful sunrise and being able to sit outside where it's lovely and cool, knowing later it's going to get much hotter. Being awake so early wasn't in the game plan - it rarely is at this time of day, but I was hungry and water just wouldn't stave off the hunger pangs!! Tea and toast it was.

So, to catch up: since I did the half-marathon in April, things have gone downhill. One week after the event I managed to injure my knee (not really sure how), and after a week of walking with a lot of pain, I gave in and went to see a physio, and he felt that the HM might have been a precursor to the knee pain. I was told on my first appointment to stop running for the time being.

So with fortnightly appointments and exercises to do at home (and the gym) I was given the go ahead to run again near the end of July. Thankfully being able to do cross-training cardio exercises, as well as strengthening exercises, has enabled my fitness level to remain and not decline. This weekend just gone I did my first parkrun in weeks and finished in a respectable 37.14, which considering it was hot I was really pleased with. A couple of niggles on the route which then went away, and no lasting effects since. So, its looking good as long as i don't overdo it. Thankfully the summer holidays means I can take things easier and not be on the feet as much as I would be at work hence hopefully promoting a better recovery before going back to work in September. I have a hospital appointment in September to investigate what could be a meniscus issue, but it's not holding me back too much. I just have to be sensible.

Admittedly, once I got the go ahead to start running again I was nervous because I was worried about not getting very far due to getting out of breath quickly, or my knee would hurt a lot and I'd have to stop running again. And my running mojo which had remained during the time I wasn't running took a hike in the opposite direction.

So, I have a choice now. Sat outside in the garden in lovely and to actually go for a run before 7am would probably be beneficial however, its very lovely being sat in the back garden and listening to the birds and background traffic (as well as a persistent car alarm!!!).

So, what now? The physio was suggesting that there would be no reason why I still couldn't do the Great South Run in October. I know I have ten miles walking in my legs (tested that theory doing the Gromit Unleashed 2 trails) so a walk/run would almost definitely be in the bag.

SO to go for a run, or not? It's lovely and cool, and I'm lovely and relaxed!!

Amazing!!!!!

Today I set myself a target.

Having entered the Wickham Whistler, a multi-lap event where you run as many laps that you want, I set myself a target of 2 laps. Since January, the furthest I’ve run is 3.5 miles, and to meet a month target run of 26.2 I needed to do 5.9 miles. Each lap was 3.3 miles long.

I set myself a plan of running 3 mins and walking 1 min. I kept this up for the first 3 laps, even recognising that I was having a thoroughly good time.  The only sign of being uncomfortable was towards the end of lap 3. I could have stopped there having done what I set out to do. But 4 laps would be a half marathon. Did I have enough in me to do the 4th lap?

I started on my timed intervals but suddenly I couldn’t keep going with it. It was like my legs said no more. I finished the lap walking it.

But I did a half marathon distance - double what I expected to do. I managed to stop my watch after three laps without thinking, and then restarted it for the final lap. This however had its benefits. I was able to note that it took me just over 2 hours to do 9.9 miles - just under the distance for the Great South Run, which I’m doing again in October.

As said before I have seen unexpected changes to my mindset since restarting running in January. I am definitely more positive, I am enjoying it and am willing to push myself further. I loved today’s event. Seeing friends I haven’t seen for a long time made all the difference to how I felt.

So, let’s check out the next On The Whistle event.....

Did I mention that I hurt now???

It's been a while........

Wow!! I can't believe I last blogged back in October when I signed up again for the great south run 2018. My intention had been to start training again from that point. It didn't happen.

However, since the start of January this year, I have been to 4 parkruns (out of 7) and been running with a friend too. I did also deliberate rejoining a running club but as training sessions do not fit with family stuff, it was not worth the membership at this time especially as I am not entering races on a regular basis to get the affiliated discount.

Anyhow, I am finding several things since starting running again:
* I am actually enjoying running
* going back to parkrun with people, be it friends or my daughter, has made it lass daunting for me to turn up
* whilst I have completed 5km running once so far this year, it's showing that I haven't completely lost fitness over the last 12 months, and my other runs have gone okay with walks in between.
* I really do have an awesome running buddy who adjusts to what I need to do to keep moving
* I belong to an amazing running community online
* I'm reconnecting with running club buddies
* I'm actually believing in myself that I can do this

And to be honest it's the latter comment that I've never really had that feeling of before. I don't know whether it's because I have no 'pressures' such as lots of races, belonging to a running club, but I look forward to running most of the time now. Still need to work more on my motivation but one step at a time........

Along this year, I am tracking my running efforts with the Run Mummy Run challenge where I pledged to run 5 miles a week. It hasn't always happened, however I am still running each week.

So it's all good at the moment.

Happy days

The green-eyed monster

The decision to take a break from running happened a year ago at the Great South Run. Whilst I generally like the course and the event, I didn't enjoy last year. So I said then I wasn't going to re-enter (despite always being tempted by the early bird offer) and look at taking a break from running events once I finished the forty challenge. 

Forty challenge completed on Christmas Day 2016. I have done some casual runs with a friend since but entered no events this year. I had no regrets with that decision. Whilst I'm missing not running the GSR today, I'm not sorry I followed my decision to have a break. Although whilst the green-eyed monster reared its ugly head today, and it was almost painful to watch my husband go off to the GSR this morning, it has been good in a way to realise what events I do enjoy. So after carrying said green-eyed monster this morning for a few hours I have now entered next years GSR event with a sense of anticipation and excitement. And a year to train with something to look forward to. And perhaps come back to running with a renewed inner strength that I can do this. I'm starting from the beginning again with the running but that's okay. It has taken a lot to realise that it's okay to restart with a couch to 5k programme. Particularly with the reinstatement of asthma treatment and learning to manage that whilst running. 

I have focused a lot of this year on my mental health, and getting myself into a better place. It's an ongoing process, but I have found areas that I have moved forward in which has made such a difference. Hopefully I will be able to carry forward what I have learnt, particularly through more difficult days. 

Just in case you were wondering, my husband did an awesome job at the GSR and I'm am so proud of what he achieved today. 

I've got going

So, I'm still reading the motivation chapter of the book. It's been a hard one to read, partly because being brutally honest with myself is never pleasant, and it means I have to face some home truths. But I will persevere.

This last 7 days I have been swimming twice, and to the gym once. I have to admit to having some anxiety tonight prior to swimming - no real idea why but just really struggled with going out. But I went it.

I have really enjoyed swimming, rhythmically going up and down the pool, and the refreshing feel I get when submerging my head in the water. And trying to keep going, and do more, to reach a target, or beat what I had the previous time (which didn't happen this time). its difficult to describe but. That feeling of flowing through the water, being in that moment, not worrying about anything else (except maybe a stray or slower swimmer). 

The gym went well too. It fair to say I got very sweaty, but for the last 10 mins I was the only one in the gym. Which was quite nice. 

I'm trying I really am. I will get there. All being well, come October and should I be offered a marathon place, I will have got myself to a decent place where I can concentrate on marathon training.

Mental health and exercise

There is much available to read about the benefits of exercise to improve mental health. So I decided to delve into a book that actually offered the chance to properly explore motivational thoughts (and unmotivating thoughts), not just read and and try to absorb.

So I found this book: 8 Steps to Mental Health through Exercise by Dr. Christina Hibbert. So far, I have completed three chapters, and it has really allowed me to delve much deeper into my thoughts that stop me from exercising, as well as exploring what my benefits of exercise would be. Interesting that whilst she offers information into the benefits of exercise, her questions allow you to explore your own reasonings. I wonder whether you have to be the right frame of mind to allow yourself to do that, but so far I have been really honest with myself.

So right now, I am working on the Motivation chapter. The hardest chapter so far for me. And I guess in some ways this is probably the key chapter in the book to try and work through. Having not yet looked further this is likely to be he chapter to help kick one's butt back into action.

But I ask myself some questions more personally:
*why having run since April 2014 am I still struggling to find enjoyment and accepting the benefits of exercise to mental health?
* why can't I get myself sorted out? I want to go out running and swimming and cycling, but I now particularly struggle with the thoughts that having not exercised since January my fitness has gone downhill and I'll just be a red-faced ball mess after about 5 minutes. What is stopping me from just getting my running gear on and going out?

Yesterday I had my first vague medal envy this year. Is this a sign things are on the up?

I can't be the only person to go through this. But yet I feel very alone in this.

Mind over......... part 2

Last night, I watched the second episode of Mind Over Marathon. I was anticipating being affected by the emotions that might be portrayed, but I didn't anticipate how much it really did start questions going around in my brain.

Up to now, I've always said I would never do a marathon. I've watched the London Marathon in previous years and always thought that doing it was never an option. 26.2 miles. Not do-able. I've seen friends complete marathons and I think they are utterly awesome and amazing, but I've always had the idea that it wasn't for me. Until last night.

Watching them complete training and go on to run the marathon, seeing their emotion when they finish it, was just heart-wrenching. It took me back to when I did the Great Suth Run in 2014, and I ran all 10 miles raising money in my memory of my dad. I was so overwhelmed with emotion at the end, I was sobbing into a friend's jacket.

One of the things from the programme is the feeling that we let ourselves down when we ask for help. I can relate. Feeling that it make you seem and look weak in your own eyes, and in the eyes of others, if you ask for help. Sometimes I don't know what to ask for - almost like I want someone else to take the lead and tell me what to do and how to do it, and actually come alongside me on the journey. But how do you ask someone to be so willingly committed to you, even in the days when feelings are low, so low, and they might need to really support you through those times?

One thing that I really battled with last year was feeling very anxious about getting to an event. Dealing with hoarded of people around me, going in different directions, and me feeling very pulled in abut 5 different directions. And that's one of the things about London that would sway me to not have a go at entering. How would I cope with finding where I need to be? That feeling of being alone and scared. Being in the startline and dealing with the voices of doubt. I can't recall not doing an event because of anxiety. I think I pretty much did everything I entered for the purpose of the challenge. So I know that I can do it. But it was really really hard.

I do have something in my heart and head that I do want to give it a go if the opportunity arose. But I'm scared to go it alone. Fighting the feelings of the sense I'm not good enough, I can't do it.

I have been reading about 'jeffing', a method of structured run/walk . This makes doing this more appealing rather than the feeling of trying to just run it all. I think I need to become more confident in myself in using this method with It's feeling I let myself and others down if I don't run it all.

I have the equipment and facilities to train. But why can't I just get myself out there?

I'm still undecided about entering for a ballot place. But I know that if I do enter, it will because I want to have a chance to do it and I want to do it. Not because I'll enter it because it's unlikely I'll get a place and then freak out should it actually happen. And it's likely next year there likely to be a record number of applicants for the ballot as a result of inspiration of this programme, which could lower the chances of being successful.

London seems to be the pinnacle of running challenges. There are other marathons around. There was one local to me last weekend, but London seems to be the coveted race maybe due to the balloted places.

I love what the Royal Family are doing with Heads Together, and their efforts in normalising mental illness.

Mind over.......

I've just watched on BBC iPlayer the first episode of 'Mind over Marathon', where, if you haven't seen it, a group of volunteers with various mental health issues challenge themselves to train for the London Marathon 2017.

Some of the barriers the volunteers faced I could relate to. Not wanting to go out running alone, anxiety about getting somewhere new, finding the energy to just keep going.

I stopped running a couple of weeks after completing forty b4 forty. I lost the motivation and will to persevere. By the end of 2016 I had managed to run 5km without needing to walk. That was something I had really wanted to accomplish.

Sometimes looking at my medals, I feel I ought to take them down. I know I've earned them, and some of the events did take me out of my comfort zone. I faced anxiety before races in getting to an event venue, and at the start line where I felt I just was not able to do the race. During races I struggled to manage my emotions and was thinking I just want to finish now, I've had enough. But looking at them now, and knowing that I stopped running, makes me feel I don't deserve to see them because I haven't persevered following my challenge.

There is lots of research which suggest that exercise releases endorphins, which are the chemicals that make you feel good, and as a result improve a person's mental health. I'll be honest and I have struggled in feeling good consistently for a long time particularly after exercising. Is this a mindset thing? Why can't I just feel ecstatic and awesome after doing a run? Instead of feeling hollow and glad to be back home.

I'm not a pessimistic thinker by nature, as I can really be enthusiastic when I get my teeth into a project or task, but I struggle to apply positive thinking to myself. A form of self care I guess. Running alone is something I do really struggle with and I know I don't have to run alone, as I know there are people who will run with me. But I hold back for a number of reasons:
* I'll hold others back
* I'm not good enough
* I've lost fitness
* what if I have to walk?

I do feel very alone as I look at other runners, and think 'how do you keep going?', 'how do you enjoy exercise so much?'. So, why not me? Why is the motivation to push myself so difficult?

So for everyone running this weekend, particularly in Southampton and London, I think you are all utterly awesome, totally nuts for doing a marathon, and I really do admire your determination and focus you've shown in training.

Happy birthday to me!!!

Here we are: my 40th birthday.  My #fortyb4forty challenge is now officially finished I guess. I've raised £520 for the PSP Association, taken myself out of my comfort zone on numerous counts, and am happily settled into 2017.

So what now? Nothing as yet. I'm just enjoying myself in exploring new ways of boosting my self-confidence, whilst still leaving my comfort zone. But knowing me, it wont be long before I find another challenge to set myself!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!

Well, since completing #fortyb4forty, today has been the first time I have run. And a very nice 4.5 miles with my running buddy, through the frosty woods, and up and down hills. A right mixture of challenge but I ran it all!! Very happy bunny, albeit a very tired bunny!

So, I have made the decision to continue running. The one decision attached to this is that for the time being I am choosing to not enter any races. I had entered a couple of virtual races but I'm okay with this as I completed one today, and the other completes at the end of January. I want to learn to love running without the pressure of upcoming races with very fast runners, which invariably causes anxiety and lack of self-confidence. And I'm okay with that. I now look forward to weekly runs with my running buddy (who really is awesome and very patient with a slow worm) and this is a real turnaround in how I think abut running. I've also joined the gym, and plan to swim when the children are having their swimming lessons. 

In 2017 I have chosen a 'word for the year'. I've seen a lot about this the last couple of years and wondered about it. So after looking at what I'd like to try and achieve this year, mainly eating better, increasing fitness, developing better spiritual disciplines (for starters), I have settled on the word 'nourish'. I see this as taking baby steps to look after myself without making drastic change and setting myself up to fail,  but improving my physical and mental health over time. And allowing new habits to settle in.

So, I have no specific resolutions as such but instead I'll be making changes, where mistakes will invariably occur, but not to admit defeat when they do. But to move on and carry on.

And I'm finished!!!

What a fabulous feeling. A few weeks ago I was struggling with the fact I had several events to do, and the thought of doing them just seemed completely out of reach. But today, on Christmas Day, I completed my 40th event at parkrun this morning. It's so nice now that it's all done. 

The last 15 months has seen me through a mix of good and bad experiences. There have been times when low mood has really affected my motivation and focus, and this has been part of the challenge. It's not natural for me to want to do exercise, although I'm well aware of the health benefits, both physical and mental, and this is where a large part of the challenge has lain - moving myself to complete these events, and to try and do a variety of events that would challenge me. Sometimes anxiety has really played its part in not doing more things than I could have done, and coupled with low mood, this has affected my focus and motivation to get out. Physical health problems such as bronchitis and viruses, that have floored me, have also played their part in not seeing this challenge finished earlier than it could have been. I have faced personal challenges of pushing myself to do things that have taken me out of my comfort zone (trail half-marathon comes to mind), and facing demons in my head who would be telling me I was incapable of doing things and there wasn't much point, that I was useless at running, and because I was doing a mix of running and walking I felt I wasn't doing it properly.

On the positives I have done things I might not have normally considered doing, and usually I've been with friends at events, which makes so much difference. I have taken myself out of my comfort zone, which does add to the exhilaration of finishing an event I initially thought I would bulk at, and pull out, or not even enter. 

Over the last 15 months I have completed half marathons, parkruns, virtual races, 10k races, 10 mile races, 5mile races, a quarter marathon and a triathlon. In terms of seeing achievements I have finally been able to run 5km more consistently than before. 

But ultimately, I have actually done this challenge. I've completed it and to be honest, at one point I was worried that it wasn't going to be achievable. But I DID IT!!!!!!!! 

There is no medal to show I have completed this, nor have I reached my fundraising target, but I know every penny that has been donated is going to make a difference to those affected by PSP - both individuals and family members. 

Thank you to everyone who has supported me during this time, both friends and family. I have received much advice, information and support over the time, all of which has made a difference in how I then faced each event as it came up.

Some stats over the challenge:

Total mileage covered - 201.54 miles of which I did:

18 parkruns

7 X 10 km

4 X 5 mile

1 quarter marathon

2 X 10 miles

2 half marathons 

1 X 8 miles 

1 triathlon

1 X 7 mile (multi lap race)

2 virtual races

1 mile fun run

My medal collection through out the challenge:

Plus two of the following medals which were virtual races (the Father Christmas and Rudolph medals). The other two I did combined with the parkruns yesterday and today, where part of my entry fee went to Girlguiding UK. 

So, what next? Well, a few weeks ago I was contemplating having a break from running completely. Then, more recently, I remembered I had signed up for two virtual races in January. Not letting my entry fee go to waste!!! Guess, I'm not giving up that easily then. But at the moment I intend to run just for the sake of looking after me, without worrying about trying to raise money. Mind you, I keep saying that and then I find another cause to try and raise money for!!!! 

So Merry Christmas my faithful readers. There have been good times. Not sure when the blog will get updated next. But I'm keeping it open.

One to go!!!

So, the penultimate event was completed at parkrun this morning, on what probably is the hardest course physically with 6 hills but I still ran it all. Having woken at 6am, a decision was made that I may as well go to parkrun since I was up. It was extremely chilly with a brisk wind, but, once out of the wind, I'd discarded the jumper I was wearing.

So, one more event to go. I think I've been persuaded to go to Christmas Day parkrun tomorrow. It would be awesome to finish the challenge on Christmas Day. Best set the alarm. I can't see me waking up voluntarily before 8am two days in a row!!! 

Another virtual runner medal earned as well, again for Girlguiding UK. 

Event 38 of #fortyb4forty

As with a lot of the races I have done, I do not plan far in advance. It's been known that on the morning I will enter a race. At least last night I had a few hours when my friend texted me to ask if I wanted to go for a run this morning. I still had some virtual runs to complete, having entered them. Again, I had entered a race where part of my entry fee went towards Girlguiding UK.

Two weeks ago saw me commiserating and feeling sorry for myself because my son had decided to pass his germs onto me. Well, those germs mutated into something that floored me for a good couple of days but has taken a lot longer to recover from. So last night when the message came through I thought I'd give it a go, and try and run 5km and earn the medal I had entered for.

The upshot is that I ran 3.6 miles (5.8km). Further than I intended to and, aside from stopping to cross the road safely, I ran the entire distance. My running buddy is awesome and very patient, despite training to run an ultra distance herself. I certainly wasn't quick, but for me, the fact that once again I ran 5km (and the rest) it feels like I'm finally reaching some consistency with my running, and instead of having a break from running, which was what I was planning on doing once the challenge is over, means I might actually keep going. 

I have felt increasingly disillusioned about the point of carrying on with running and, I guess I've been frustrated with the fact that for so long 5km seemed such a hard target to reach. It feels that for many of my running chums 5km is not as hard as it is for me. Hence struggling to keep going with the challenge because I have so woefully inadequate about myself.

But now it now feels that things are turning round and it seems that I could have a running buddy most Friday mornings which will help so much. And giving up running might not be happening.

As I have pretty much been raising money for one charity or another since May 2014, I'm not planning on setting a challenge for myself. I think I need to learn to enjoy the sport for myself, and reap the benefits (both physical and mental) without the pressure of hitting a deadline or target.

So here is a picture of my medal in its rightful place

I have two events left to do. It is entirely possible to finish on Christmas Day if I was to go to parkrun tomorrow and on Sunday (yes, there is a Christmas Day parkrun). I still also have two virtual medals to rightfully earn. Can I get myself up and sorted the next two mornings? I've been enjoying some decent lie-ins since the schools broke up for the holidays!!! 

Events 35, 36 and 37.

As I write this I am feeling quite sorry for myself, my son having passed on his germy germs onto me. However I have already done. 5k run today which I shall talk about later.

so, event 35: this was parkrun at Netley Abbey. This was on a new winter course and contained a few hills. It was cold and windy standing by the shore waiting to get going. However, after running the entire course I was not feeling as cold as I had been. And yes, I ran the entire course. The second time this year that I have run 5k without slowing to walk. I was feeling really pleased with myself. My time wasn't as quick as it has been previously but to run it all was definitely a major achievement.

Event 36: Boscombe 10k. As the name gives it away we were in the Bournemouth area. I was very close to pulling out right before the start of the race. I just didn't want to to do, to the point I was in tears. But after some encouragement from family I went to the start line. At one point in the race there was a long slow hill but despite this I was pleased as to how I ran the remainder of the course. 

Event 37: this event was slightly different. It was a virtual race organised by virtual runner.com. No, this doesn't mean I run on the Internet. What it means is that I pay an entry fee, of which a percentage goes to a specified charity, I complete the distance in my own time in the dates specified, and once the race is completed in my own time and I have submitted my result, I receive a medal. That was my 5k this morning. I went with a friend and, again, ran the entire 5k distance that I set myself. The charity that was being supported was Girlguiding UK. I have three more medals to run for, again for the same charity throughout December. I definitely had endorphins going around my brain today. It was a good feeling. On this occasion, the medal had been sent out prior to the event due to Christmas post, so I captured a photo today:

So 3 events left. 

Event 34 of #fortyb4forty

This event was held on 6th November and was about raising awareness and money for the Royal British Legion.mit was a 5 k distance and there was such a variety of people taking part - adults and children whose aim was to complete it whether walking or running.

So, my aim, as usual, was to complete it. I actually ran the entire distance. It's the first time for a long time that I have run a 5k distance in its entirety. I as really pleased with myself. 

6 events left to do.....

7 left to go ending on Christmas Day

Yep, that's what this post is all about. 7 left to go and it absolutely feels like the biggest thing to try and achieve before February at the moment. I know it's not but that's what it feels like.

Since the Great South Run I have lost a lot of motivation to run. I'm also aware that my general mood is also dipping, so I am doing things to help me keep my head above water. Exercise, I know, should be one of them, but even doing other things like crochet and reading is helping.

My husband had an idea: as our local parkrun is running on Christmas Day, he suggested I make that my 40th event. I think that is quite a brilliant idea, so I need to work backwards and plan in when I need to fill the gaps between now and then. It would be great to finish this challenge before the year and gives me a target to aim to. Which will help in keeping me focused.

So far, I have the following events booked: Poppy Run (tomorrow), Decathlon 5km (2 weeks time), Boscombe 10k (3 weeks time). And then of course Christmas Day parkrun as my final event. That's 4. Three events then left to do. It's apparently 8 weeks until Christmas........

Can I hit my fundraising target by then too? I have less than £100 to raise before hitting it. I'd love to reach that.

Event 33 of #fortyb4forty

The Great South Run - one of the South's biggest running events every year, with thousands of people taking part for different reasons.

My preparations for the event included doing my nails using nails wraps from Jamberry that I thought were amazingly apt!! I even put one on a toe, joking it would make me go faster!! 

I had also met up with a former colleague during the week, who I had recently got back in contact with, from my last workplace and her mum had passed away from PSP last year. So yesterday I was not running just for Nan, but for her mum, Carol, who I had also worked with

Anyhow, this time last year this was my 5th of the current challenge. And to be honest I was pretty downhearted with the time and the actual run itself. I didn't enjoy it.

Fast forward to yesterday. The weather was beautiful. I was starting the race with two running buddies and I was looking forward to the event. I even remembered to take Hope with me.

And suddenly we're at the start. The sun is shining, and although the wind had been slightly cold, it didn't take long to warm up. I kept up with my running buddies for the first 5 miles maintaining a 3 min run, 30 second recovery walk. It was surprising how quickly that recovery walk would pass. I then did my own race. The wind wasn't that bothersome except in one area. The atmosphere was brilliant the whole way round, I was looking forward to the residential area near the end where last year they have music on loud speaker and just loads of encouragement. I do remember thinking at one point that I am not entering next year's event, even if the tantalising offer of early bird was available!!! 

The end is in sight!! And that is always the part I struggle with. I have no idea why. It's so nice to see familiar familiar faces in the approach and it really is a boost to keep going. I cross the finish line with an official time of 2 hours 24 seconds. This is 7 mins faster than last year so this really has made my day although I am ever so slightly disappointed that 25 seconds faster and I'd have had a sub 2 hour time for the course. Clearly, doing my nails had had a positive effect........

Seeing some running club buddies after crossing the finish line to give me a hug was amazing. I was exhausted and probably could have just burst into tears. But it was also nice to get a finish line photo from them :-) 

Today I am exhausted!! Knowing I pushed myself yesterday is satisfying particularly with the result that it achieved for me. Yet, I have two children to entertain. 

I have 7 events left to complete this challenge. It's possible it could happen before the end of the year. I'm not sure when next event is but I'm sure it'll be soon. 

Event 32 of #fortyb4forty

Hard one today. The New Forest Stinger 5 mile distance. There as also a 10 mile distance but opted to not go for that.

Now, when I woke up this morning I wasn't booked onto a race. I had intended to enter this one but needed to wait until pay day, and then I plain forgot. Saw that a couple of friends were doing this race and wished them luck, including the comments that I had forgotten to enter. I think one of the ladies who entered into a conversation was on the team organising the race. So by 8am I had nearly convinced Muself I was going to do this, but for one thing: one of my worst fears about races. 

Now, at most events, there is almost always more than ample parking. But, I have this almost irrational fear that If I go alone I'll get lost, there won't be enough parking and I'll be late. This morning, as I then decided I was then entering on the day, I also had a major anxiety panic about turning up and finding out all the enter-on-the-day places had been taken. To the point I was nearly in tears about it, and nearly just didn't go.

In jumps my wonderful husband who drives me to the race, with the children. He takes them off for a walk whilst I am running. 

The terrain of the race was pretty much mud and puddles. Difficult to run in. Legs feeling like lead made it all the much harder. Going around, I struggled with anxious feelings about completing it, the fact that my legs just hurt, and they nearly get the better of me on more than one occasion on the route. I haven't had these feelings for so long. Probably last time was when I did the Ox half, so that was May, I think. I struggling with breathing too. Carrying an inhaler has made such a difference to my running lately but I had to work hard mentally to not go into panic mode completely because I struggled to breath. Anyhow, it's fair to say the latter half I probably spent more time walking, but I did run down the hills. I was going to finish this damn race becaus there's no way I wasn't going to finish. The last kilometre was a long slow hill. Whilst pushing myself up I saw an adult deer, and three babies cross the path in front of me. It was an incredible sight. I pushed to the end. It was hard.

I had to laugh at my husband when I found him at the end. He'd wandered back to the car after walking with the children to drop something back because he thought I'd be a lot longer. Ha!!! Really happy with about 1 hour 12 minutes. Got a rather nice little cool bag as my finishing memento.

Event 30 of #fortyb4forty

Yes!! I am now 75% complete of the challenge. It is now a countdown to 40. What a nice feeling!

So, what did I do? I took part in the RNLI 10k in Portsmouth. A very flat route, good prep for the Great South Run which is in 17 days time. The weather was just lovely. I had no idea how the race was going to go. In previous runs I was struggling to get to 1 mile without needing to walk so today was going to be interesting, one thing I tend to do is to set off too quickly, so I had to really hold myself back and let everyone overtake me. However, this way of doing things meant I ran the first three miles of the race before needing to walk. I was so pleased with myself. It gives me hope for the GSR that whilst I probably won't run it (never say never however), it feels that it could be a lot more comfortable to do. I absolutely loved the medal at the end. I finished with my best 10k run for the year.

Haven't really planned when I'm doing event 31, but that's okay. I have vague ideas when races happen but entering races at the last minute always adds to the fun of it,